"Orcs" by Stan Nicholls

"Orcs" isn’t a bad book as such; it’s just not a good one. It follows the escapades of an orc warband, in search of artefacts they have no real understanding of. From the blurb, you’d be led to believe that the story follows the evil guys, or at least anti-heroes. However, instead of the interesting feast it promises, it’s a pretty disappointing and formulaic fare that reads a lot like a novelised Dungeons and Dragons campaign. It’s repetitive in several ways. Firstly, to keep the story going, roughly the same chain of events happens not twice, but three times. It feels contrived (of course it is, it’s a novel!) and had me rolling my eyes, which is never a good thing when reading! Secondly, the fight sequences that occur every 10 or so pages are excruciatingly specific and become tedious very, very quickly. I found myself reading each chapter, hoping the next would see the story really develop, but I was disappointed. It was only when I reached the final chapters that I realised this wasn’t going to happen. Instead, the ending is disjointed and almost unrelated to the rest of the book: there were no references to trans-dimensional creatures in the previous 700 pages, so it leaves the mind boggling. Another problem I have with the ending (I hesitate to call it a conclusion, because it doesn’t tie the story up) is the anti-climactic Deus ex Machina. A super-character that appears occasionally to lead the characters to the next plot point disposes of the evil queen, who has been portrayed as a powerful sorceress herself. The author’s also taken to including every fantasy creature known to man, and it is more than distracting when passing references are made to pixies, kobolds, gremlins etc... adding nothing to the story and causing you to mentally tick them off as they’re brought up. It’s an entertaining book, but don’t expect to be blown away by it in any shape or form. It’s…. popcorn fantasy, but in big enough a volume to be reasonable value for money. Score: Take it or leave it. Rationale: It’s not particularly bad, and is entertaining enough for a train journey, for example, just don’t expect to remember much about it when you put it down…. or indeed very much care.